GROWING UP WITH KAI

MOM'S STORY

Goodness where do I begin?!? For anyone who knows me, knows this story is extremely difficult to put into words for THE WORLD to see, but we're at a place in our journey where it's time to create open dialogue and create a safe space for families with similar stories. 

LETS TAKE IT BACK TO THE BEGINNING

Malakai Devon was born July 25th, 2012 at 37w 5d, he was 8lbs 9oz 21in long when life threw him his 1st curve ball;

Malakai's head was  being compressed in my birthing canal, the Doctor also discovered the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck, he was born breathless and required 2 NICU teams to bring him back to us. Despite all that he was Nothing Less than Perfect! As time moved forward I noticed some milestones and traits that were very different from my 1st child; his older sister Aaliyah. Malakai could crawl before he could sit, run before he could walk, he angered very easily and seemed as if he was "holding a grudge" against people as young as 1 years Old. As early as 2 years old he was destroying bedrooms, not just toys everywhere, but flipping beds, shelves, plants, DESTROYING BEDROOMS. Pulling his sister by her hair and saying things like "That's What you get" "If you didnt .." He had been "suspended" from daycare because he attacked a kid that hit him, the teachers had to hold him on the floor to regain control "because he had ungodly strength". By 4 years old his impulses have become so dangerous I was forced to find a psychiatrist and get him on medication, he was running out the house without notice, jumping on the backs of vehicles when playing outside because he "doesn't feel like walking". I tell you that first dose of Vyvanse almost took me out, my heart shattered, he ran face first into the wall, fell got back up and did it again, and again until I strapped him in his car seat and drove until he fell asleep. I could go on and on, this journey has consisted of alot of sleepless nights, many fights with friends, family, community members etc. I've had to watch my boy cry because no one "likes" him, because people within his "Village" wouldn't even take him for visits, couldn't handle him. He was isolated from peers, cousins and all. It sucked! On top of all the internal stuff he was already dealing with Malakai faced a spew of traumas that stacked up against him. He was diagnosed with Lead Poisoning, was in the center of a shootout in our community where he witnessed an offender point a gun in his mothers face, his biological father was killed by gun violence, he was ostracized in school, Mentors abandoned him. Despite all of that Malakai had such a loving and supportive heart! He makes it his mission to defend and protect his siblings and friends. He'd give his shirt off his back to someone in need, animals and babies gravitate to him naturally!!

Throughout this journey we've utilized a plethora of external services from play therapy, to intensive in home therapy, mentors, big brother programs, various medications, therapeutic services within his school, behavioral schools etc. We found the most effective one to be the NeuroFeedback, which was not covered by his medical insurance, cost a lot of money and was a Last Hope, to combat his diagnosis of ADHD( Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder) ODD (Oppostional Defiance Disorder), IED ( Intermittent Explosive Disorder), and Social Anxiety. By the grace of GOD it helped him get to a baseline where medication, now help maintain him. 

Sissy's Story

Growing up with Malakai has been nothing short of trials and tribulations. We’ve been through thick and thin side by side facing battles within our family, “friends,” and battles within our own sibling relationship. From the beginning, we were raised to be inseparable, and honestly, I think that’s what saved us. When everything else felt unstable or unpredictable, we had each other. That bond kept us together even when we clashed or didn’t understand each other. Learning to live my life around his triggers hasn’t always been easy. There were moments when I felt frustrated, confused, or unsure of what to do. But it taught me something deeper I've learned patience, empathy, and the ability to slow down and see the world through someone else’s eyes. Growing up with a brother who has ADHD didn’t just help me understand Malakai it also helped me understand people. It made me more aware, more forgiving, and more open to the struggles others carry silently.

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